Love Month is Over

I'm typing hurriedly before February ends, hoping that this post will cap my difficult and depressing month.

Yes, Love is in the air and was in the air-- romantic love that is. Unfortunately for me, and to all others who have loved and lost, February is not a very happy month.

I've been to a lot of talks, fellowships and discussions centering on love (even our BS centered on love) but most of the time, I have drifted away from the topic. My mind wanders whenever we talk about romantic relationships because my shield's still on full alert.

In simpler words, I am afraid to fall in love again. I'm afraid to invest emotions, to give my time and effort. This, I think, can't be understood by many. Even my best friend doesn't understand it fully. But I'm still praying-- not that I fall in love now but that the Lord will teach me to love Him first.

If you ask me, I don't see myself a married man. I'm toying with images of the mission, of full-time church ministry, of serving in foreign lands, of writing about God and people's culture. My brothers in Christ are teasing me with someone. Honestly, I don't feel anything romantic towards her at the moment. I have prayed about her, but the Lord has not answered me yet.

I think it's not yet time. Or perhaps I have a different calling. I don't know. I'm still confused about many things. In God's time, I'll be able to discern all these.

Praise Him who has loved us first. (^_^)
Next Next