Prayer Six

Father,

I don't know what you want to teach me. I don't understand why I have to go through this pain. Every night I have prayed that you take this feeling away, but I am plagued until now. How much longer will I have to wait? Days? Months? Years? Eternity? I am fragile, Lord. I am so weak inside. The world thinks I am strong. People don't see me as I am because they refuse to. My Lord, I cry out to you. Please, take this feeling away so I may be freed from the pain that is engulfing my heart and my being. Lord, I pray for peace. I seek peace, Father. To you alone do I turn to. In your grace I entrust my fate for this world is deceitful. In tears, I come before you. In sorrow I plead. Lord, rescue my heart from the oceans of suffering. Hold my hand and pull me out of the valley of pain.

In the darkness you alone give light. Father, you have given this test. You have placed me in this situation. I don't know why; I don't know if I can withstand it. But Father, I am breaking slowly, painfully. I am crushed and in despair. I am wrecked and wounded. If you open my chest you will see my heart barely beating, blood gushing from the wounds. Lord, even before I sought you, even before I made this prayer, you know the groaning of my heart. Take it away, Lord. The pain tears me apart. Memories of a dark past haunt me to despair. Take them away, Father, and heal my brokenness. Piece me together. Make me whole once more.

I surrender to you, Father. All the days of joy, all the nights of sorrow, all that I am and will ever be. Take them all in your hands. Cradle my bruised spirit stripped by sorrow to the very core. Embrace me and let me feel your love. I no longer desire the joys of this world. I have gone through much pain and suffering and I still am. Do not be silent, Lord. Answer my prayer. Do not hide from your servant, Lord. Cast your eyes upon me. Feel my pain. Have mercy.

What is waiting for me, Lord? I am treading this world alone. I am a wanderer despised by many. I cling to you. Save me from totally losing faith. Do not let this pain dissolve the love you have shown on the cross. Do not let my sufferings cover the grace on calvary. Lord, the voice that tells me to give up is getting stronger. I am torn between my emotions and your truth. How can I stand alone, Lord? When the world crumbles before me will you be willing to take me?

You loved the world so much, you sent Jesus to die on the cross. I hold on to this truth. I may be in pain, trusting may be difficult but I turn to you and you alone. It is difficult, but I trust you on this.

Amen.
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